It presented a moment for reflection upon all that had happened in that easily definable period of time.  I had stayed so much longer than I ever intended, and now the idea seemed dire rather than optional.  Lives which had once felt endless now showed signs of finitude, and markers once abstract were becoming concrete.

I thought I had to do something and I finally, at long last, see now that I never did.  I could have left just as easily as I entered, and it would have been fine.  It really would have, and that truth felt so tragic and yet so relieving all at once.

The youthful and enchanting voice which had once beckoned from the door way was long gone by now, and the house that had once hinted at aging now felt a fabricated memory, barely a trace left.  There wasn't even time to feel sorrow for the wrong done.  Instead it was simply time to pack up and carry on.

I'm sorry I didn't have faith in you, that I didn't believe you when you asked me to follow and said everything would be fine if I just had faith.  I believe you now, if for no other reason than I am horrified at the sight before me of what can happen if what was never meant to be is left unchecked to grow.

And with that renewed dedication his heart once again was able to cut ties to all that it did not need, and once again the world was full of beauty and possibility.  Indeed, it had never been otherwise, and he rejoiced at his return to the truth.

Molting my environment.

         I remember that cold, noisy apartment fondly, though at the time I had nothing but contempt for it.  At long last I felt at home in a place towards which my soul once harbored such enmity, and then suddenly I was thrust upon the "real world", one void of all the intellectual pursuits I had grown to love and thrive upon, now instead living in exile outside of academia.  If my soul had been able to politely and confidently ask the cacophonous fury of the options before me simply to sit down I would have heard a voice, my voice, clearly speaking, "it's time to leave."  Now, four years later, and I'm back where I started.
         The last four years have not passed without meaning and gravity, without bearing on my life, and as a result ambivalence has supplanted reckless abandon, and I need to get it back.  Much has changed, and yet nothing at all.  For the past several months I've been whittling my life back down to the bear necessities, reacquainting myself with how good it feels to live on the essentials.  I find myself most efficient and effective when I live and interact with my environment with purpose rather than out of indulgent opportunity.  For a time I had tried to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, finding instead that it quickly led to an internal race.  Comfortable became crippling, and it was time to resuscitate my lean lifestyle.
       I have managed to lay the groundwork for some very important professional skills, and in so doing made myself far more versatile.  I have done what I wanted to do and removed the "aspiring" from my title.  I can bring this anywhere, and so I will.  And so it seems at the end of the debate I find there's really no debate at all.  The same words still stand, and it is indeed time to leave.  This has gone on far too long, and I have so much I have to do.  I have finally learned to be where I am and make something of it, and if that place can no longer offer you anything now, then you must move on.  So to you, current life situation: car, clothes, city, job, weather, etc., enjoy it while it lasts.  The clock is ticking...