It's Saturday and thus far I've amounted to nothing more than doing laundry and watching 'Batman Begins'. I bought an HD flat screen a couple of months ago along with a fancy Sony Bluray player and part of the joy in it is seeing all my old movies in new clarity (and being that it's a 37" screen, on a considerably larger screen as well). Adorno would be ashamed of what I have become, and to him I am sorry.
I had great plans to write today. I have plenty of projects to work on. My wall calender even said I was going to write today, in my own handwriting and everything, but it has yet to happen. I go through seemingly unpredictable phases, in a strangely predictable fashion. I have about five solid story ideas that I'd really love to see through, but I only work on them intermittently. I pick them up, I read what I've written on them, and I feel a renewed energy towards them for a time. I talk to friends about them and they get excited. I get excited. I go home and write diligently for a short while. Then I shoot myself in the foot.
I seem to get bored quickly, and it's almost as if the idea and my ability to commit it to page can't keep up with my interest. I wish I could just snap my fingers and the idea, as fully formed as I see it in my head, would suddenly appear on the page. Instead I have to trudge my way through writing it, every single word. At first I savor the experience, treating myself by starting with the most salient and exciting portions. But then, inevitably it would seem, I grow bored with the tedium that arises in connecting said portions, and the project returns to the bench. That's no way to be productive. There has to be a better way to accomplish this goal and satiate this need because the desire to write and create doesn't go away.
This is how ideas have been in my head for years and I have yet to complete them. There's no excuse really. I do really enjoy writing, though what I've written above may seem to contradict that. I love the freedom of it, and yet the challenge of understanding and playing with narrative structure and devices. I love creating my characters, sculpting out their back stories. I love creating the context of the story, researching through news articles for factual support or simply excavating my own imagination for a new world. I love doing it. Maybe I'm looking for too much recognition and I have to just be cool with writing unbeknownst to most people until I actually have something to show for myself.
To go back, maybe I need to figure out a way to make every single word of the story exciting to write. Maybe that's where I've failed in the past. The whole story should hold my interest in writing it because if it doesn't then who's going to find it interesting to read? You can't have parts that are simply filler because anyone can identify those a mile away. If a project becomes lackluster maybe that's when I need to ask myself what I found interesting about it in the first place. Work through the low points, make them exciting. They have to have a reason, I just have to find it.
My Saturday night just opened up and I no longer have plans to hang out. Maybe I'll just work my way back into writing and actually get something done. Really, it's about damn time.
I had great plans to write today. I have plenty of projects to work on. My wall calender even said I was going to write today, in my own handwriting and everything, but it has yet to happen. I go through seemingly unpredictable phases, in a strangely predictable fashion. I have about five solid story ideas that I'd really love to see through, but I only work on them intermittently. I pick them up, I read what I've written on them, and I feel a renewed energy towards them for a time. I talk to friends about them and they get excited. I get excited. I go home and write diligently for a short while. Then I shoot myself in the foot.
I seem to get bored quickly, and it's almost as if the idea and my ability to commit it to page can't keep up with my interest. I wish I could just snap my fingers and the idea, as fully formed as I see it in my head, would suddenly appear on the page. Instead I have to trudge my way through writing it, every single word. At first I savor the experience, treating myself by starting with the most salient and exciting portions. But then, inevitably it would seem, I grow bored with the tedium that arises in connecting said portions, and the project returns to the bench. That's no way to be productive. There has to be a better way to accomplish this goal and satiate this need because the desire to write and create doesn't go away.
This is how ideas have been in my head for years and I have yet to complete them. There's no excuse really. I do really enjoy writing, though what I've written above may seem to contradict that. I love the freedom of it, and yet the challenge of understanding and playing with narrative structure and devices. I love creating my characters, sculpting out their back stories. I love creating the context of the story, researching through news articles for factual support or simply excavating my own imagination for a new world. I love doing it. Maybe I'm looking for too much recognition and I have to just be cool with writing unbeknownst to most people until I actually have something to show for myself.
To go back, maybe I need to figure out a way to make every single word of the story exciting to write. Maybe that's where I've failed in the past. The whole story should hold my interest in writing it because if it doesn't then who's going to find it interesting to read? You can't have parts that are simply filler because anyone can identify those a mile away. If a project becomes lackluster maybe that's when I need to ask myself what I found interesting about it in the first place. Work through the low points, make them exciting. They have to have a reason, I just have to find it.
My Saturday night just opened up and I no longer have plans to hang out. Maybe I'll just work my way back into writing and actually get something done. Really, it's about damn time.
